Tag: Suffering

It’s a matter of perspective

Each time we complain about our experience, it’s because our expectations are set on “high”. If there’s no expectation or hope neither addiction to a certain outcome, then whatever is given by life is fully received and embraced, and the true lesson of each experience is fully grasped and transcended.

From the perspective of the person who hopes that life should be “good “, each small stumble, each unexpected turn is perceived as very painful and becomes a vicious circle of trying to escape pain and change the outcome and even a intent to manipulate life to flow our way is initiated, and even if with great struggles, we manage to push the outcomes to fit our hopes, we will just postpone and pile up the events that we are so eagerly running away from.

I have been there myself, wondering why life was so difficult and painful. When I started accepting whatever comes my way with the least opposition, Life started flowing like a gentle river, bringing about debris of past rejected elements that I avoided and experiences of all kinds, but although unexpected events still take place, they’re just boulders in the river over which the water flows with ease.

Sometimes it feels like a miraculous way, the manner in which everything unfolds; how if I take time to accept whatever happens; whatever is offered, even if it feels unpleasant, as soon as I accept and embrace that event, it’s like it gets canceled by the very Existence, or one way or another the whole thing gets adjusted, sometimes to an even better situation than previously.

This reminds me of a quote from Tao Te Ching: “Do you have the patience to wait ’till your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving’ till the right action arises by itself?”

Let’s say, if we are aware that this is a very low-vibration material existence, although not the lowest, and each emotion has to be experienced fully, (as this is the only purpose that we came to fulfill: to have a low experience without losing oneself), then it all start to make sense, and in the worst situations, remembering the nature of this existence, you will find the possibility to relax and even smile.

When we fall into sorrow, guilt, shame, comparison, jealousy, vengeance and other very low feelings, then we feed the very system that we are trying  to  escape.

As soon as an emotion is ignited, we should feel it deeply, so as not to try to escape the feeling that we came here to have, but we shouldn’t employ any escapist or coping mechanism, or allow thoughts and actions to drag us deeper into the depths of victimization.

Let’s say we are rejected: at first every one of us will have a painful reaction as we are programmed to look for good experiences and run for those who are taking us out of our comfort zone. I feel it, it first comes like a huge overwhelming wave that tries to create an immediate response, trying to drag me under the water, blinded by emotions and reacting in an inappropriate way. But I have learned to stay there with the feeling, accepting it, and trying not to react or think about it, just be with the feeling. And whenever I am aware, and I do not react to it, the whole tempest is showing itself for what it truly is: just a storm in a glass of water.

If we knew we were in hell whilst having this exact experience, we would be dancing and rejoicing every single day, remembering to see the blessings that we have in our lives and how this version of hell is quite OK, especially compared to other people’s experience, as soon as we stop antagonizing it. But if we project some sort of idea of a place of pleasure, hope and joy, we are bound for a rough awakening. So you see, it’s all about the perspective. Depends on the angle from which we see everything, and the expectations or lack thereof.

Don’t you see how our own expectations and projections are binding us even more? Transforming a neutral experience that a godlike being came to have, into a belief of being trapped, doomed, tricked, punished, and eventually bringing us back to the same place, less and less aware of the nature of this paradigm, when in reality nothing can bind us and everything is just a projected experience based on mistaken beliefs and assumptions.

I am not able to do it all the time, as many times I am caught off-guard by the waves of life, acting from past distortions and programming, but each time I take my time and allow life to flow at its own accord, I am so happy I managed to do it. The more we do it, we become free from projections, and the world will fail to look neither good nor bad, but it will just flow like the ocean’s waves: one day roughly, one day calm and joyful, another day it may look like they want to destroy and annihilate and other days they’re still as a  lake in a painting.

If you watch the ocean through the window or the TV screen, no storm will scare you, but you will enjoy its dynamism and continuous change and unpredictability. Similarly, if you grasp the nature of this existence, you’ll feel like watching it through a screen, and the tremendous show that it puts into scene will inspire and put you in awe, but it will no longer scare you or catch you off guard.

This is how we are gradually spiritually maturing, slowly growing, enhanced by our trust in life and by the Grace that flows from within us, not separate from the Life that flows equally from within, as everything that we experience outside of us.

How can then be someone to punish or reward us if everything is just us? But because we believe in that predicament, we create a life that will fit our idea of it. Change your perspective and life will feel easier, the power is always in our hands.

Another perspective on Suffering

Every single person in this existence is one way or another suffering, that is an indisputable affirmation.

Suffering is changing places în a Divine directed sequence in our lives with periods of joy and carelessness. One of the most unknown reasons for suffering, among other more obvious ones that I am not going to address in this article, is that it serves as a reminder of the blessings that we are taking for granted, that we forgot to be grateful for their presence in our lives, so the ungrateful gets a glimpse of how life is without those things that he/she must have taken for granted.

Let’s not go too far into complicated examples, but I will give you an example through a recent realization of mine while trying to sleep, recovering from a heavy cold: I was struggling with my blocked nose and sinuses for days, and to have the nose blocked is so frustrating and annoying.

As soon as I got both nostrils unobstructed I felt relieved, joyful, and grateful, and I realized how many apparently small things we are taking for granted, yet as soon as any of them are temporarily or permanently removed we start lamenting, we realize their true value and place in our lives and we realize what an ungrateful beings the humans are.

It’s so sad, because in nature such issues do not occur, but since we disconnected ourselves from it, by forgetting the fact that we are part of it, we developed atrocious features that not even predators in the animal kingdom display.

If an animal is saved or taken care of by a human, that animal will most likely be forever grateful to that human that shows them compassion. But humans become used to being helped and gratitude is less and less part of their approach to help regardless of what kind. I have noticed especially that the new generation, in their majority, is devoid of this precious feature.

So, from my own experience I can testify that as soon as we start taking things for granted, life will put its gears into movement towards the removal of that blessing that we disregard. It may take a while, or at times it can be quite fast, especially if it is a typical approach of ours.

This is the amazing teaching of life saying “Appreciate what you are having, or you are going to have it taken away”. And it works like that for people who believe that they can continuously trash their own bodies with bad food, alcohol and other ways of taking their body for granted.

Others maybe forgot to tell their partners how much they mean to them, how much they love and appreciate them. Oh, boy! It does miracles, it brings the light into the face of the other! Whisper it in their ear when they least expect it. Try it, especially if you haven’t done it in a while, you will feel that love reigniting, because whatever we put out there, definitely comes back to us. And it’s all because we’ve remembered to throw some wood over a smoldering, almost dying fire.

The secret is that nothing gets really taken away, but by not investing our energy into it, the connection with that thing is gradually diminished and damaged. So invest energy in Love, in taking good care of yourself and your dwelling place, reminding people in your life of how much you appreciate them, play with your kids and pets and leave the phone aside, and it’s not that suffering may disappear, since it alternates with good times like the ebbing and flowing of the ocean. in this paradigm we’re experiencung, but you will easily go over those periods of discomfort and most important of all, you will know that you did all that was in your capacity.

Sometimes even if we give our 100%, there’s no guarantee for success since it’s not in our power to control outcomes, but undoubtedly if we do our best diligently, we will definitely succeed more often than if we are not fully involved.

Ideally, we should remember at least once a week to count our blessings, to be grateful for the people, objects, and everything that we are being given, and to remind ourselves how lucky and blessed we are, and that’s the way to attract more blessings, instead of seeing what we are lacking and inevitably attracting more lack.