Tag: self-acceptance

Not far away in the past, I used to believe that taking an extra step to show goodness and kindness to people was a very spiritual thing to do.

My perspective changed when I realized the amazing value of being myself fully. Being myself unapologetically will definitely trigger lots of people and make them classify me as selfish or even narcissistic, which at first glance may even seem to be the case. In fact, what changes is that I keep my kindness somewhat hidden, and stop being people’s doormat for the sake of being liked, loved or accepted.

I have the same heart filled with love and kindness, but I don’t look for ways to show that to people anymore, as I am not looking for recognition of those features, and as I am more and more self-sufficient..

I bless when I feel like în silence, so they’ll never know. I see people thriving when I am not explaining myself but letting them get to their right conclusions or even allowing them to go a bit astray, projecting what is not, without me trying to correct anyone, to each according to their vibration at that point in time.

I might explain myself when I feel humility and an honest desire to know, and I am asked in a non-entitled way, as we all deserve to have our questions asked if we know how to do it. But I am done trying to make others understand how great, honest, kind and trustworthy I am. I am fine with people believing whatever they choose about me

If people are throwing a tantrum and are being entitled, I do not have the desire to explain or excuse myself. But I make sure I question myself thoroughly and try to see where my actions and words are coming from, but that doesn’t mean that I will try to bring clarity to anyone against their will or capacity to understand, as I have to limit unnecessary waste of energy when there’s no possibility or will to fathom what’s going on.

We all get to clarity when we dare to question ourselves and our narratives. When we dare to ask ourselves “what if they are right? ” and flip the whole story from different perspectives, especially from the other person’s perspective.

Sometimes we are blinded by the mechanisms of coping that hide under layers of traumatic responses and programming, so I can definitely say that taking whatever whoever says and giving it a chance to be examined in a cool “what if?” way is the best one can do for their own evolution out of their own limitations.

I have pondered many times onto statements by people who accuse me of acting selfish, narcissistic or being unfair. And I realized that at that point they were right, and I wondered why I was doing that. And following the thread, I got to the point where I realized that the narcissist is a child who stopped evolving, stopped maturing and never left the house of their parents (metaphorically speaking). They’re entitled to things and people’s attention and energy, exactly as a child feels, and they’re failing to take full responsibility for anything they do or say, exactly like a child.

Even when they’re touched by love, all they care about is only the fulfillment of their own ideas of “happiness”, forgetting to take the other person into consideration, forgetting to give and serve selflessly, not knowing that they are just taking and taking and by not giving, they’re going to exhaust that person’s energy and good will and will eventually bring about rapture.

So, whenever someone says something to me, I might take time to assess their words, like I would ponder on specialist advice. This made me realize how much we can grow even just by being exposed to  people who might misjudge us.

The path to healing is honesty to self and others. But there’s a caveat to this: I used to be overly critical of myself (twisting and fully denying my own perspective), and I can easily see now that any of the extremes are wrong, as in any other situation. So, being fully dismissive of others is extreme and not beneficial, whereas being fully submissive is not the solution either.

The secret is always in the middle path, the path of balance. Balance is the Divine law inherent in everything and anyone. When we search for balance, we’re always on the right track to removing ourselves from the limitations of the existence of the human body.

So being ourselves is a huge step to seeing and acknowledging our shadow and the wounded child within, along with the Eternal Spirit of the Absolute, also is a chance to lose all the unnecessary people in our proximity, just by being aligned with ourselves instead of showing some “kinder” face in order to preserve relationships and things that were never ours to have. Therefore, after the shock of losing so many people, the newly discovered vibration of truth and self-sufficiency is going to start attracting similar or at least higher vibrating beings and situations, like ending high school clears the path to university.

Being fully ourselves when we are deeply wounded and traumatized may have as a direct consequence, the loss of the majority of people in our surroundings, and that can deepen the sense of crisis, but it’s not a mistake at all, because we can get a chance to see how our actions and words come from the desire to possess people and things and from very traumatic events from our early ages or even unresolved past life unsolved traumas and a misunderstanding of life and its purpose.

So a very narcissistic/mentally disturbed person, who doesn’t want to evolve, will be forced to reassess the whole thing/life one last time, by hitting rock bottom! Hitting the bottom is, when everyone leaves, everyone abandons them because of the atrocious behavior, or when life will force a deep traumatic event as a last chance, a last wake-up call. They’ll either realize that the only way is up, and see their flaws and genuine desire to heal, or they’re going to postpone the process for the next existence.

Now I dare say that not many are in that predicament, as I consider a severe mental health issue a karmic punishment or a spiritual jail. Yet undoubtedly, we all have traits coming from unresolved trauma that make us exhibit narcissistic, bipolar, borderline behavior or any other distorted abnormal features. So, while we are not full-fledged narcissists, there might be a chance to heal, as long as there is the acknowledgment of something being wrong with us.

Being ourselves is valuable in any situation, especially in learning to protect our own energy from people that only drain it. Being kind doesn’t mean you should allow spiritual vampires to suck you dry. Spiritual vampires are not necessarily obvious evil people, but most of the time they are family members, our spouses and friends that we may feed with our energy because of our lack of boundaries and because we try to please people. Also, being who we truly are Wil inspire others to accept and embrace themselves fully, which is, in the long term, planting the seeds for a better humanity.