Let whatever is yours come your way unobstructed, and let whatever is not yours to have, leave you without opposition.
When we want to control life, to direct its flow towards a certain outcome the result is pain. Even if we achieve that goal that made us invest so much time, energy and effort into it, eventually we realize that maybe it wasn’t really worth the struggle. Moreover the fulfillment of one desire automatically brings more desires and this loop never stops. Not even death puts an end to it since the mind will take its desires to the next experience (birth) so this is the very reason for us playing this game of birth and death.
As soon as you stop wanting things you have reached the ultimate happiness, the eternal bliss. That can come from the realization of “I had enough of everything” – Enough is enough! – and you decide to watch and rest, instead of manipulating, controlling and struggling. Or it comes from the realization of who you truly are, the Ultimate existence that has already everything and is already anything.
Every single moment of our lives carries a teaching, in each moment we have a choice. It’s like life tests us continuously bringing up similar struggles or dramas with those in the past, and we are facing them to see if lessons have been learnt. We are unaware of us being vengeful and feeling entitled and excusing atrocious behavior of ourselves under the pretext of righteousness. There’s no excuse for doing harm, for violence, when it comes from the rottenness of the ego.
The motive always matters. If a family living in the woods hunts every week a deer for the family to be fed, nature endures. But when people go hunting for the thrill of killing, it means that they are killing animals for their own pleasure and for that pleasure nature is going to punish one way or another. We are so unaware of the consequences of all our actions, everything produces an impact, everything is accounted for, therefore if we let life happen to us, but the steerer is the ego, then we’re down that same drain, in the same loop that kept us busy tens and hundreds of lifetimes.
When we let life happen to us, we are allowing what’s for us to come and find us, regardless that it can be catalogued as “good” or “bad”. In my understanding we are supposed to have a certain amount of experiences, a certain amount of pain, joy and whatever. When we run away from the experience, when we run away from pain, solitude and whatever disturbs us, we are just postponing it and prolonging the agony.
Let’s say we are meant to experience pain, 8 on a scale from 0 to 10. In a traumatic situation pain is building and grows on that scale, 1, 2, 3.. 7. When we run away from it before reaching that tipping point we postpone the whole process once again. So we will need to face a different traumatic event, again building the pain 1,2,3..7 but if unless the destined degree has been reached, there will be no resolution. Therefore, we should try to embrace whatever comes. Whatever comes is definitely ours to have.
The good news is that life is very just and balanced. There is never only a downward spiral of unhappy events from bad to worse. Even if we have a heavy karma to pay, we are going to be given moments of joy, of rest. Life is always fair, always correct. If we are aware that the huge pile of crap we’re carrying is ours to handle and carry until we transmute it into pure spiritual gold, then there’s no external actor or unfortunate event neither accident to blame for whatever we experience. In that moment of realization you drop all blame for yourself or others, you will definitely smile, understanding that everything is perfect, everything is always right!
Do what is for you to do, and forget about outcomes since we are not the ones in control of the outcomes. Do your best and forget the rest! If you are alone and you are fine with it but life brings someone in your life, if it clicks, it’s yours to have: be it a happy or painful experience, it’s definitely what you need to have! When we are flowing with and through life, everything comes naturally, everything is meant to be. When we think we know better we might bring unnecessary, delaying events and elements into our lives. So there has to be an element of surrender always present in our lives, even if we are caught unawares, the moment we surrender and let go, the grip of despair is loosening.
Surrender control, embrace everything, stop seeing things from the “I”, “me” and “mine” perspective. These are the veils that keep us ignorant: limiting ourselves to the bodily frame and limited mind and ego and separation perspective.
Let life happen to you and enjoy the ride, as all the rides sometimes are smooth, sometimes bumpy. It is all you’ve chosen for you to experience, so trust your higher Self! If it happens it means you are ready to have that (whatever might be), see the learning lesson within, the pain that surrounds that bitter event is just a veil to make it harder to accept, but each such event is a blessing in disguise, a bitter candy that has a sweet, creamy core as a reward for the patient, courageous and resilient who beared the bitterness.