Tag: be yourself

True love a rare gem Part 2

Many get the wrong impression, inspired by Hollywood movies propaganda, that love should be the fulfillment of all the sensual desires, happiness, joy and peace delivered by our partner, eternally looking for someone to provide us with that which we should rather find within ourselves first. I realized that what I assumed to be love in the past was just a very limited, distorted and watered-down idea of what true Love is, and how it is supposed to happen.  

Firstly, one has to understand that Love is unrelated to any person, it either is within or it is not. In reality, it is intrinsic in all of us, yet hidden under heavy layers of trauma, propaganda and negative programming. You can try to mimic it, but that will not resist the test of time and the fake will undoubtedly be revealed in due time. Love with the capital “L” is selfless and impersonal. When you “love” someone, you say that you want them to be happy, but in reality that might be very conditional, limited, and manipulative. What kind of love is that? It’s definitely not unconditional, or pure as it should be; it just means you just want to possess and control that person and have them deliver you that feeling that you’re incapable of feeling within yourself.

You might then have the same selfish type of love that a gardener has: he cuts a beautiful rose, knowing that it will eventually fade, wither and eventually die shortly in the vase, no matter how much care it’ll invest in it.

Same we do when we knowingly or unknowingly try to cunningly manipulate our lover into delivering what we assume is best for us, selfishly and sturdily molding them into something that we assume would be the best for us to have, many times also ignorantly believing that might be the best for them. Even if we succeed in changing them, we will end up destroying that person’s particular character that made us be attracted to them in the first place, and we might lose interest in them if they haven’t lost interest before us.

That’s why the only true love I see as such between two people is when we accept and even encourage the full expression of the other’s character and peculiarities, full acceptance of the way their soul chose to manifest.

True love is when you see a beautiful rose, you enjoy its beautiful color and the amazing scent without trying to possess it, but you bless it and care for it selflessly. Hard, I know, yet not impossible. Once you do it, you won’t go back to the selfish and possessive type of love you were taught or rather programmed to have.

You can definitely enjoy a peaceful couple’s life, but you won’t project anything on it, you will be giving that person full trust, love, full freedom of expression and movement even if it might go against your wishes, and you’ll be proud of yourself, not in any egotistical way, but you will realize that you have touched a subtler level of love that many are unaware of. By doing so, you qualify for a higher level of relationship, a more refined kind of love when you finally discover a lover that will share the same views, and they’ll shower you with their Love as you also shower them with yours.

Love is not about possession or changing others. Love is about nurturing and encouraging others to fully and freely express their character, and fully accepting that freedom of theirs while expressing fully ourselves too.  We can certainly declare that we’ve hit the jackpot when both parties (us and our lover) express themselves fully and neither is disturbed by the other’s free flow, when there’s full acceptance and fondness of each other. In true Love neither of the parties should be “walking on eggshells”!

Love is either there or is not,. Hoping someone might start loving you might be silly and the effort you put into it might not be worthwhile, although it may also happen that the recognition of the other might happen on a later date, as everything happens in the right time and place.  We should rather just flow with our inner inexhaustible Love and let it overflow. Expect nothing and be happy, grateful, joyful, and equanimous, not because it’s reflected back at us, but because we are Love and that is our true nature.

From the human perspective, it is amazing if it’s also reciprocated. But once you accept the idea that you might not get it back the way you expected it, you stop seeing the unreciprocated love as loss; you just selflessly give it, allowing people to be free in their choice of the response to your love. 

That does not mean at all that you will stupidly “throw pearls before swines”, but you will silently shine onto everything and everyone indiscriminately, as the sun also does onto us all, whilst still not allowing people who are unworthy to be connected to your unconditional love flow indefinitely.

Love, as in the emotional, limited love between a man and a woman that we see all around us, is still just another level of a fancier and more sophisticated trap, a reproductive program planted into us to ensure the perpetuity of the human species … In reality, we should become Love! Train it till you make it! Really, I tell you, we all are that already, so there’s no real training or becoming anything, but remembering our true nature, removing programming and re-establishing ourselves into our real essence that got forgotten.    

Become that impersonal, all-encompassing Love! Indiscriminately loving everything and everyone will make us able to uproot ourselves from the thralls of the illusion… Limited love, in which both have their own hidden agendas, is a very rudimentary program of control through selfishness, that can be transcended by becoming more selfless every single day.

I know that if you come closer to becoming Love, if you haven’t yet already, you will definitely encounter the one and only true counterpart of yourself who will see things in a similar way, and the human concept of love will be fulfilled too, and beyond your expectations.  Life never fails to deliver that which we are worthy of having.

The game you came to play

Not so long ago, I started realizing that dismissing information just because I wasn’t agreeing or liking the source through which was coming was ignorance.  Since then, if I am being sent a video or article, I go through it and look for bits and pieces that resonate within me, that can add value to me deciphering life’s puzzle.

Since then, when people are disagreeing with me, I don’t mind, I no longer get upset or try to change their minds, but I just know that they’re not resonating with that information that I was giving them. That doesn’t mean that they’re wrong, or they’re missing anything, as we all have our own different paths in life, and no matter how different we are, and our paths are, eventually we will all be meeting back to the very Source we sprung out of.

I remember telling my friend Pedro: “Why do you need to try to fight me for things we disagree on, when we can both take from each other’s discourses whatever resonates within and forget about the rest?” Since then, our interaction is less difficult, no friction and neither being like rams slamming our heads, against each other trying to impose our “truths” onto the other.

Sometimes we ignore valuable information just because we dislike/despise or don’t consider the messenger as an authority figure. That is how, at points, pieces and bits that Life is hiding in places that most would dismiss and ignore, might get lost unless we stop judging and dividing, but accept and unite, we will be missing those valuable puzzle pieces that will be hidden where we would never search for or be interested in.

Therefore, my realization is that instead of limiting our views and isolating ourselves from life, we should open our hearts, eyes and ears to always perceive everything without judgement, and picking those useful bits of information that will complete the picture.

It’s good to establish your energy first in the highest place you can possibly get and then explore things and places that you consider as being low or bad, with your new perspective, looking for clues and previously disregarded particles that you could have missed by believing that from the dirt nothing good can come out. Yet look at the beautiful orchids sometimes sprouting out of dirt we wouldn’t dare touch. Or look at the beauty of a lotus flower that came piercing through a considerable amount of mud and then grew its stem through the muddy water all the way up to the surface where it blooms and spreads its petals and releases its scented emanation in the light whilst thoroughly being anchored in the mud, passing through water. Isn’t it a bit like our journeys?

We start with ignorance and predigested information and slowly navigate through learning to pick what’s useful and leave aside what’s not, but with love, knowing that everything is always right, flowing through life with the least opposition from ourselves, always smiling and filtering all that unnecessary out, whilst carefully assimilating the needed. Similarly, a whale absorbs huge quantities of water and retains small fish and other nutritious elements it needs, while water is returned to the ocean it came from.

This is how entire nature and everything always talks to us. We should learn to read between the lines, learn to filter everything through our very Being and see how sometimes there are gems hidden where we least expect, and how even a homeless person may say something that, if you don’t disregard, it may give you a perspective you would have never got the chance to get from elsewhere.

Be always open, because life talks to you through everything, be always ready to absorb missing pieces of the puzzle while maintaining your gratitude for the knowledge and the means through which it reached you. Gratitude is the most essential element we always have to be full of, as by being ungrateful, whatever we have got will eventually be lost because we haven’t fully acknowledged it, and we take it for granted.

Make sure you always do your utmost to give and serve selflessly, a way of giving back to Life, bringing the needed where it lacks in other people’s lives, an eternal circle of give and take. By giving, you empty a bit of your filled bucket and make space for better things or information to come replace that recently emptied space in your “bucket”. It shouldn’t be a calculative move, “I give because I will get better”, because when we approach life from such a cunning material pragmatism, thinking we can outsmart it, we should prepare ourselves for a rough awakening.

Establish your roots in the mud, embracing it, then grow your stem through the muddy waters of ignorance, steadily freeing yourself from the unnecessary and learning to discern and discover valuable knowledge that serves you and pierce those waters of ignorance and bloom when reaching the surface and let the sun of the Existence illuminate you further into deeper levels of knowledge and realizations. This is the game you came to play!

Being who you truly are

Not far away in the past, I used to believe that taking an extra step to show goodness and kindness to people was a very spiritual thing to do.

My perspective changed when I realized the amazing value of being myself fully. Being myself unapologetically will definitely trigger lots of people and make them classify me as selfish or even narcissistic, which at first glance may even seem to be the case. In fact, what changes is that I keep my kindness somewhat hidden, and stop being people’s doormat for the sake of being liked, loved or accepted.

I have the same heart filled with love and kindness, but I don’t look for ways to show that to people anymore, as I am not looking for recognition of those features, and as I am more and more self-sufficient..

I bless when I feel like în silence, so they’ll never know. I see people thriving when I am not explaining myself but letting them get to their right conclusions or even allowing them to go a bit astray, projecting what is not, without me trying to correct anyone, to each according to their vibration at that point in time.

I might explain myself when I feel humility and an honest desire to know, and I am asked in a non-entitled way, as we all deserve to have our questions asked if we know how to do it. But I am done trying to make others understand how great, honest, kind and trustworthy I am. I am fine with people believing whatever they choose about me

If people are throwing a tantrum and are being entitled, I do not have the desire to explain or excuse myself. But I make sure I question myself thoroughly and try to see where my actions and words are coming from, but that doesn’t mean that I will try to bring clarity to anyone against their will or capacity to understand, as I have to limit unnecessary waste of energy when there’s no possibility or will to fathom what’s going on.

We all get to clarity when we dare to question ourselves and our narratives. When we dare to ask ourselves “what if they are right? ” and flip the whole story from different perspectives, especially from the other person’s perspective.

Sometimes we are blinded by the mechanisms of coping that hide under layers of traumatic responses and programming, so I can definitely say that taking whatever whoever says and giving it a chance to be examined in a cool “what if?” way is the best one can do for their own evolution out of their own limitations.

I have pondered many times onto statements by people who accuse me of acting selfish, narcissistic or being unfair. And I realized that at that point they were right, and I wondered why I was doing that. And following the thread, I got to the point where I realized that the narcissist is a child who stopped evolving, stopped maturing and never left the house of their parents (metaphorically speaking). They’re entitled to things and people’s attention and energy, exactly as a child feels, and they’re failing to take full responsibility for anything they do or say, exactly like a child.

Even when they’re touched by love, all they care about is only the fulfillment of their own ideas of “happiness”, forgetting to take the other person into consideration, forgetting to give and serve selflessly, not knowing that they are just taking and taking and by not giving, they’re going to exhaust that person’s energy and good will and will eventually bring about rapture.

So, whenever someone says something to me, I might take time to assess their words, like I would ponder on specialist advice. This made me realize how much we can grow even just by being exposed to  people who might misjudge us.

The path to healing is honesty to self and others. But there’s a caveat to this: I used to be overly critical of myself (twisting and fully denying my own perspective), and I can easily see now that any of the extremes are wrong, as in any other situation. So, being fully dismissive of others is extreme and not beneficial, whereas being fully submissive is not the solution either.

The secret is always in the middle path, the path of balance. Balance is the Divine law inherent in everything and anyone. When we search for balance, we’re always on the right track to removing ourselves from the limitations of the existence of the human body.

So being ourselves is a huge step to seeing and acknowledging our shadow and the wounded child within, along with the Eternal Spirit of the Absolute, also is a chance to lose all the unnecessary people in our proximity, just by being aligned with ourselves instead of showing some “kinder” face in order to preserve relationships and things that were never ours to have. Therefore, after the shock of losing so many people, the newly discovered vibration of truth and self-sufficiency is going to start attracting similar or at least higher vibrating beings and situations, like ending high school clears the path to university.

Being fully ourselves when we are deeply wounded and traumatized may have as a direct consequence, the loss of the majority of people in our surroundings, and that can deepen the sense of crisis, but it’s not a mistake at all, because we can get a chance to see how our actions and words come from the desire to possess people and things and from very traumatic events from our early ages or even unresolved past life unsolved traumas and a misunderstanding of life and its purpose.

So a very narcissistic/mentally disturbed person, who doesn’t want to evolve, will be forced to reassess the whole thing/life one last time, by hitting rock bottom! Hitting the bottom is, when everyone leaves, everyone abandons them because of the atrocious behavior, or when life will force a deep traumatic event as a last chance, a last wake-up call. They’ll either realize that the only way is up, and see their flaws and genuine desire to heal, or they’re going to postpone the process for the next existence.

Now I dare say that not many are in that predicament, as I consider a severe mental health issue a karmic punishment or a spiritual jail. Yet undoubtedly, we all have traits coming from unresolved trauma that make us exhibit narcissistic, bipolar, borderline behavior or any other distorted abnormal features. So, while we are not full-fledged narcissists, there might be a chance to heal, as long as there is the acknowledgment of something being wrong with us.

Being ourselves is valuable in any situation, especially in learning to protect our own energy from people that only drain it. Being kind doesn’t mean you should allow spiritual vampires to suck you dry. Spiritual vampires are not necessarily obvious evil people, but most of the time they are family members, our spouses and friends that we may feed with our energy because of our lack of boundaries and because we try to please people. Also, being who we truly are Wil inspire others to accept and embrace themselves fully, which is, in the long term, planting the seeds for a better humanity.