We are very unhappy with people that hurt us throughout our lives and we find it very hard to forgive and forget what they did to us. I will try to offer you a different perspective that might change the way you look at these people.
A boy is systematically beaten by the father, yet the boy loves the father. The boy is scared and feels like there’s no love coming from the father. He tends to look for any little sign of kindness and embraces that with joy as a sign of father’s love that he’s craving for although love seems to be missing.
The boy is very likely to grow up hating the father and trying to get his revenge somewhat. He may grow up to be an aggressive man himself. He can incarnate in a future life and punish somehow the father for all the beating and torture. This is a vicious circle of karmic entanglement that not many people nowadays are able to break. In theory it must be easy, we just forgive and forget, we let go of whatever happened. In reality It’s very hard, I know it myself.
But let me give you a wider image of the previous story. The boy and the father in previous life were lovers. The father was the female and the boy the lover. Their love was intense and they were unable to live without each other, they promised to each other that their love will last forever. He goes to the war and gets captured by the enemy. The woman receives news that he disappeared along with his unit and they are all considered dead. After suffering and crying she felt like suiciding but she couldn’t do it because of their little child that they had. So because being a lonely woman with a child was hard, she accepted to marry her old, unappealing to her – boss.
Three years later after war was over, the man comes home to find his wife having another two kids with some other man. He was devastated and she felt very guilty and victimized. He started drinking and he died as a consequence of his alcohol addiction. She was very angry with him because he never forgave her, and didn’t even want to understand her situation. She died several years later.
Because of the suffering when she was a woman, because she was sexualy abused during the period of the husband being a prisoner, she decides that she wants to be a man so she incarnates as a male. The boy sees with his unaltered consciousness (before incarnating again) that he exaggerated with his reaction and he decides to be born as the child of his former wife – now his father in order to try to pay his karma. Without knowing why (unconsciously) the father is continuously irritated by the child which is loving the father unconditionally. The father (as in the previous life) hates the child because that hatred came from the past life through entitlement, guilt and shame and other low vibrational emotions towards the unforgiving lover.
Now the father is just fulfilling his role in this huge game of life. The game of life is always fair, only we lack the whole picture to realize that. The boy, now grown-up, decides to forgive the father from the bottom of his heart so he breaks the entanglement. But many people continue this game of ”I hit you and then you hit me” forever, that’s why they’re caught up in this trap that they have set for themselves.
The same thing happens in the army, there were three stages of recruits: newcomers, middle boys and veterans. Always the veterans and the middle boys will make the newcomers lives miserable until they become themselves middle boys or veterans. Here, breaking the spell is harder since the entire group of veterans and middle boys are supposed to stop the mistreatment. But in our individual cases it should be easier. Forgive and forget everyone. Realize that they are paying you back for past deeds. Don’t punish, don’t take revenge. Break the chain, stop the curse that is throwing you back again and again into the game of punishing and being punished. Accept all the punishment that comes in your life with ease, know for sure that you are supposed to experience that and accept, surrender and let go. This is the shortcut to the self-realization.
Our aggressors in this life were our victims in past lives. If you truly forgive them and send love and blessings to them instead of hatred and desire to revenge, you break the karmic chain. Once you break it, you start paying off all your debts. People may rob you, talk bad about you, they can cheat. Be happy! You are paying your debts.
Thank them all inside of self. If you feel that is necessary you can do it in person also, but only if your intuition is advising you to do so, otherwise is might be not only unnecessary, but inadvisable.
Life is made up of events that are always correct and aligned with the bigger picture (that we’re unable to see) in which we all play our roles in paying off our karmic debts and involuntarily we are tools in the hands of Life in making others pay off their debts. Vengeance is one of the biggest traps, everyone can be vengeful, everyone can be righteous. Forget about them all, especially righteousness which is the cunning hidden trap in everyone’s lives. Once someone said: “Would you rather be right or content?!” I know everybody feels like answering “content” yet when we find ourselves in the position of being right, oh it’s so hard to chose contentment. But slowly-slowly we can do it. It’s enough to want it, it’s enough to decide to break the chain of self-imposed slavery (by reincarnating over and over to punish our aggressors), and half of the work is done. The rest is acceptance of whatever comes your way, surrender onto whatever your Higher Self prepared for yourself and let go of any expectation, any projections, any memory of people hurting you, abusing you… Let them go with love. Those who hurt you have a great potential of creating a purer “you”, a more experienced, more loving, forgiving and more humble person. Thank them and love them instead of holding a grudge. This is the secret of truly breaking the karmic entanglement.
In this world whatever is supposed to be ours will be and nothing is ever lost, if it is lost and doesn’t come back, it means that it was never yours. Someone stole something from you, be happy! It’s the easiest way to pay some past deed. Bless everyone in the process. Those who wish you good are there to ease the pressure. Those who are here to punish you are those who push you to thrive and break through. Like I stated before, in this world of duality everything has a double potential, it’s up to us what we choose. According to our choice of action and way of seeing the things, the aggressors can ruin our lives or push us to thrive. What’s your choice?