I have noticed throughout my life how my perception of things is constantly changing and somewhat ebbing and flowing along with life events, going up and down along with the moods, feelings, emotions and thoughts.
That’s why I started seeing value in maintenance of a neutral perspective of life as much as possible, experiencing everything but not getting bound by the experiences themselves. Once we are repeating something that we are aware has no benefit for us, there can be no blame on any external actors or stimuli. It’s like a saying I love to repeat over and over again: “If you are in a hole, stop digging! “
I have been trying, struggling, limiting, and sticking to a rigorous discipline, yet, at least for me, it didn’t fully work. Why? I assume that we are somewhat compelled to have a certain experience. Let’s say we try to solve or eliminate a certain problem or addiction from our lives without addressing the root cause of it, it’s like trying to push away a weight that’s tied to us with a strong elastic band. The more we ignorantly push it away from us, the harder the pain of the impact on the rebound. First, we should get rid of the “elastic band”, which is the hidden/unconscious root problem that keeps us bound to the issue we’re struggling to eliminate.
When the “elastic band” is dissolved, “the weight” will drift away by itself no need to push or apply any pressure for it to go. So in reality, all our issues, regardless if it’s inability to attract a proper lover or maintain a relationship with them, or be it financial issues, health issues and so on, they’re all just a symptom of something deeper, and addressing the hidden undercurrents, will automatically calm the surface waters too.
According to my own experience, one of the core issues which manifested a lot of trouble, lack and dissatisfaction is the feeling of not being enough, of being incomplete, of still lacking time or training to be better. In reality, we are always enough. We are already a unique and special manifestation of the Source. Sure, compared to other manifestations, it may have too much, too little, it may look flawed or not enough, yet that’s the very perfection of a unique manifestation, and we should definitely learn to not only accept this manifestation but fully own it and love it unconditionally. If we are alone, and we are unaware of anything else existing but us, we are perfect, no matter what, right? So all the issues come from comparison. That is why the wise identifies himself/herself with Shiva, the Divine, God, the Source, because they realized their unique expression of That. It doesn’t mean that they’re going to be perfect from the human perspective. But they have realized their perfection in their apparent imperfection.
All the apparent flaws of the character are fulfilling a role, they define a certain path that the being will take and have to experience. Some things are given. In reality, there’s little to choose really, the freewill is very limited. When hearing or realizing this idea, some will decide that there’s nothing to do to escape fate and will become cynical and lazy, sabotaging the already bumpy path; whereas others, will see the beauty of the experience, the perfection of the imperfection, good and bad being alike, trying to flow with life rather than controlling it compulsively.
I feel that there’s a changing potential of life and destiny, but only to a certain degree, and there’s also an imposed, unchanging aspect. That’s why balance is the key, as in any other aspects of the system we experience. So improve what you can, but also easily let go and adapt when you feel that you can’t change something. Exactly like a river, it penetrates soft obstacles but bends, adjusts and modulates around hard ones.
There’s no escape from the duality of things while immersed in this so-called reality we came to experience. But you can use this knowledge to your own advantage: knowing that there’s no joy without sorrow, there’s no hot without cold, there’s no good without evil… You can choose to embrace both currents at your own volition, and hence avoid forced/compulsory actions and events.
I stated in a previous article that I realized that my life became a bit smoother and less traumatic just by taking cold showers and embracing unpleasant and uncomfortable situations that I used to try to escape. This is not only enhancing resilience and patience, but is training us to embrace challenges, adversity and adventures rather than trying to maintain comfort, which is neither teaching nor even beneficial.
Let comfort and pleasant experiences come on their own accord and fully embrace what you used to run away from, and see how it goes. Drop me a message a month later, letting me and others know if it works or not, or why not, give it 3 months for the benefits to become obvious. Track the way life treats you when you stop antagonizing it. Observe, as I did, that even if anything is far from perfect, you are doing well, there’s less stress, no depression, no lamenting, or blaming. A certain level of peace will be reached within, and that is better than any material gain. It is something that will stay with you forever, like an achieved superpower that you can’t lose anymore, and will open you up for your next level in the Game. A wiser version of you is emerging. I promise you!
Inspired by and dedicated to Jivanmukti and Siddha Param-Para 