Many times we allow others to imbalance us. The fault is never of “the others” since the responsibility for our lives and interpretation of it lays just with us, and the others are just mere “buttons” triggering us, our fears and distortions.
I noticed a disturbing fact about myself and I am very sure that I am not the only one that feels like this:
Let’s say that we are walking on the street and somebody is staring at us, “shamelessly”. As soon as we noticed him/her, our insecurity kicks in, especially if his gaze doesn’t look friendly, or looks mocking or if we feel that he’s measuring us. We see him laughing while he is watching us pass by. Again a sting in the heart: am I ugly, stupid, do I have carrot pieces between the teeth, is my pants zipper open? We are unable to simply be, ignoring or being comfortable with whatever happens. Watch this feeling, it’s one of the old patterns that has to be transcended and worked with. It is the very lack of self-love and confidence that make us indeed unappealing to anyone else.
When we are insecure, we are devoid of love to ourselves. How can we love someone else then?
It means that our “love” may be based on the other’s appreciation and show of care and “love”, a common exchange happening nowadays in the inter-individual relationships dynamics. When these (love, care, appreciation) are not shown by the other(-s), self-doubt appears. This self-doubt will create a mess in our lives, at first will spread like an infectious disease onto other levels of our lives like job, relationship with kids, neighbors… So, the self-sabotage appears. In these moments, if possible, let go. Let go of all expectations and desires, just surrender everything to the space,to the nothingness. Remember the Higher Self and God, and fully surrender to whatever is happening. Whatever it is, there’s no way you can change that in those moments. In moments of distress our decisions may be wrong, based on the emotional imbalance that we’re in. That’s why, let everything subside, let it be just “nothing”, as you will soon discover. Go back to some stressful situation in the past. That restlessness and fear and all are not there anymore, everything was an illusion.
We may start inventing nonsense, unifying imaginary dots, remembering things… Going lower and lower, feeling scared, deserted, betrayed and all the lower vibrational range of feelings and emotions. All the insecurities are appearing: we feel ugly, unwanted, unworthy. Well, we definitely forgot about being a spectator, only watching the storm, but not jumping into it. So remember to be a spectator even when you feel that you are in the middle of the mess, it’s just an illusion. If we realize that we can be spectators of own dramas without a need to interfere, give thoughts or analyze much, we achieved a certain “next level”. It is hard, almost impossible, because it takes some otherworldly effort to really detach and decide that we are not supposed to be creating more emotions or explanations about something that is already there.
Good luck and may you be supported on your path as I know well that all true seekers are supported, even without them knowing.
Evolution is here Now! Decide to start, and the path will unfold itself to you.
Inspired by and dedicated to Jivanmukti and Siddha Param-Para 