Tag: awareness

The game you came to play

Not so long ago, I started realizing that dismissing information just because I wasn’t agreeing or liking the source through which was coming was ignorance.  Since then, if I am being sent a video or article, I go through it and look for bits and pieces that resonate within me, that can add value to me deciphering life’s puzzle.

Since then, when people are disagreeing with me, I don’t mind, I no longer get upset or try to change their minds, but I just know that they’re not resonating with that information that I was giving them. That doesn’t mean that they’re wrong, or they’re missing anything, as we all have our own different paths in life, and no matter how different we are, and our paths are, eventually we will all be meeting back to the very Source we sprung out of.

I remember telling my friend Pedro: “Why do you need to try to fight me for things we disagree on, when we can both take from each other’s discourses whatever resonates within and forget about the rest?” Since then, our interaction is less difficult, no friction and neither being like rams slamming our heads, against each other trying to impose our “truths” onto the other.

Sometimes we ignore valuable information just because we dislike/despise or don’t consider the messenger as an authority figure. That is how, at points, pieces and bits that Life is hiding in places that most would dismiss and ignore, might get lost unless we stop judging and dividing, but accept and unite, we will be missing those valuable puzzle pieces that will be hidden where we would never search for or be interested in.

Therefore, my realization is that instead of limiting our views and isolating ourselves from life, we should open our hearts, eyes and ears to always perceive everything without judgement, and picking those useful bits of information that will complete the picture.

It’s good to establish your energy first in the highest place you can possibly get and then explore things and places that you consider as being low or bad, with your new perspective, looking for clues and previously disregarded particles that you could have missed by believing that from the dirt nothing good can come out. Yet look at the beautiful orchids sometimes sprouting out of dirt we wouldn’t dare touch. Or look at the beauty of a lotus flower that came piercing through a considerable amount of mud and then grew its stem through the muddy water all the way up to the surface where it blooms and spreads its petals and releases its scented emanation in the light whilst thoroughly being anchored in the mud, passing through water. Isn’t it a bit like our journeys?

We start with ignorance and predigested information and slowly navigate through learning to pick what’s useful and leave aside what’s not, but with love, knowing that everything is always right, flowing through life with the least opposition from ourselves, always smiling and filtering all that unnecessary out, whilst carefully assimilating the needed. Similarly, a whale absorbs huge quantities of water and retains small fish and other nutritious elements it needs, while water is returned to the ocean it came from.

This is how entire nature and everything always talks to us. We should learn to read between the lines, learn to filter everything through our very Being and see how sometimes there are gems hidden where we least expect, and how even a homeless person may say something that, if you don’t disregard, it may give you a perspective you would have never got the chance to get from elsewhere.

Be always open, because life talks to you through everything, be always ready to absorb missing pieces of the puzzle while maintaining your gratitude for the knowledge and the means through which it reached you. Gratitude is the most essential element we always have to be full of, as by being ungrateful, whatever we have got will eventually be lost because we haven’t fully acknowledged it, and we take it for granted.

Make sure you always do your utmost to give and serve selflessly, a way of giving back to Life, bringing the needed where it lacks in other people’s lives, an eternal circle of give and take. By giving, you empty a bit of your filled bucket and make space for better things or information to come replace that recently emptied space in your “bucket”. It shouldn’t be a calculative move, “I give because I will get better”, because when we approach life from such a cunning material pragmatism, thinking we can outsmart it, we should prepare ourselves for a rough awakening.

Establish your roots in the mud, embracing it, then grow your stem through the muddy waters of ignorance, steadily freeing yourself from the unnecessary and learning to discern and discover valuable knowledge that serves you and pierce those waters of ignorance and bloom when reaching the surface and let the sun of the Existence illuminate you further into deeper levels of knowledge and realizations. This is the game you came to play!

Flowing with life vs controlling it

As long as there hasn’t been any inner work of acknowledgment of the inner programming and unpacking of the hidden undercurrents, be it subconscious or unconscious, how can we truly flow with life? That supposed flow with life will be just going with distortions and social viruses planted by the upbringing and the very system that keeps us in its thralls.

But that superficial “flow with life ” even when we’re not fully aware, is way better than trying to force life into a dynamic of controlling its outcomes, that we assume may be the best road to take.  Of course, that doesn’t mean that we are like a leaf in the wind, as we have to have a clear direction. The best is to just blindly trust life and its currents, even when, from the worldly way of seeing things, things look like they are heading “south”.

Trying to exert the utmost control over our lives and circumstances is even more laughable and futile: like a totally unaware Sisyphus, bound to repeat the same fallacy and eternally hoping for a different outcome, with the stubbornness of a bull insisting on hitting a fence, and trying to get on the other side although the door, just couple of meters ahead is wide open.

In order to learn to flow and trust life, we should learn to accept circumstances without trying to make it look better than it is, but we ought to avoid having that cynical approach of: “everything is always bad”, and avoid infusing that belief with the power of our consciousness. By doing so will empower the very thing we try to break away from.

I was many times allowing myself to “flow with life”, unaware of the fact that I am still flowing with past unresolved traumas and unquestioned beliefs that are as far as “flowing with life” as trying to control life’s currents. I would like to introduce my theory that we need someone who can give us a more objective perspective about ourselves, because we may be blindsided by those hidden shadows that we still unknowingly nurture within and by our subjective perception of ourselves.

Therefore, getting a chance to be with or close to someone who is at least as aware as we are is a true blessing. It can be a lover, friend, family member and even a teacher. This blessing we are given by Life itself is a token of unconditional love that the Ultimate Existence silently provides to all its fractals.

There is no being who is not provided with Grace and support from the Ultimate. The problem is our lack of understanding and failure to recognize that EVERYTHING that happens in our lives and given, is a step laid in front of us by our Higher Self, like an invisible wire sent to us, that’s pulling us through and out of the labyrinth of ignorance and false interpretation of life.

So flowing with life is the best approach to have, although without awareness, there will not be that much of a flow, but as I said previously, just a trick of the shadow to express itself unhinged and unnoticed. But even that is a step further and eventually, because the shadow acts in plain sight, we have a chance to notice it and find our way of accepting and transcending it.

It’s a matter of perspective

Each time we complain about our experience, it’s because our expectations are set on “high”. If there’s no expectation or hope neither addiction to a certain outcome, then whatever is given by life is fully received and embraced, and the true lesson of each experience is fully grasped and transcended.

From the perspective of the person who hopes that life should be “good “, each small stumble, each unexpected turn is perceived as very painful and becomes a vicious circle of trying to escape pain and change the outcome and even a intent to manipulate life to flow our way is initiated, and even if with great struggles, we manage to push the outcomes to fit our hopes, we will just postpone and pile up the events that we are so eagerly running away from.

I have been there myself, wondering why life was so difficult and painful. When I started accepting whatever comes my way with the least opposition, Life started flowing like a gentle river, bringing about debris of past rejected elements that I avoided and experiences of all kinds, but although unexpected events still take place, they’re just boulders in the river over which the water flows with ease.

Sometimes it feels like a miraculous way, the manner in which everything unfolds; how if I take time to accept whatever happens; whatever is offered, even if it feels unpleasant, as soon as I accept and embrace that event, it’s like it gets canceled by the very Existence, or one way or another the whole thing gets adjusted, sometimes to an even better situation than previously.

This reminds me of a quote from Tao Te Ching: “Do you have the patience to wait ’till your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving’ till the right action arises by itself?”

Let’s say, if we are aware that this is a very low-vibration material existence, although not the lowest, and each emotion has to be experienced fully, (as this is the only purpose that we came to fulfill: to have a low experience without losing oneself), then it all start to make sense, and in the worst situations, remembering the nature of this existence, you will find the possibility to relax and even smile.

When we fall into sorrow, guilt, shame, comparison, jealousy, vengeance and other very low feelings, then we feed the very system that we are trying  to  escape.

As soon as an emotion is ignited, we should feel it deeply, so as not to try to escape the feeling that we came here to have, but we shouldn’t employ any escapist or coping mechanism, or allow thoughts and actions to drag us deeper into the depths of victimization.

Let’s say we are rejected: at first every one of us will have a painful reaction as we are programmed to look for good experiences and run for those who are taking us out of our comfort zone. I feel it, it first comes like a huge overwhelming wave that tries to create an immediate response, trying to drag me under the water, blinded by emotions and reacting in an inappropriate way. But I have learned to stay there with the feeling, accepting it, and trying not to react or think about it, just be with the feeling. And whenever I am aware, and I do not react to it, the whole tempest is showing itself for what it truly is: just a storm in a glass of water.

If we knew we were in hell whilst having this exact experience, we would be dancing and rejoicing every single day, remembering to see the blessings that we have in our lives and how this version of hell is quite OK, especially compared to other people’s experience, as soon as we stop antagonizing it. But if we project some sort of idea of a place of pleasure, hope and joy, we are bound for a rough awakening. So you see, it’s all about the perspective. Depends on the angle from which we see everything, and the expectations or lack thereof.

Don’t you see how our own expectations and projections are binding us even more? Transforming a neutral experience that a godlike being came to have, into a belief of being trapped, doomed, tricked, punished, and eventually bringing us back to the same place, less and less aware of the nature of this paradigm, when in reality nothing can bind us and everything is just a projected experience based on mistaken beliefs and assumptions.

I am not able to do it all the time, as many times I am caught off-guard by the waves of life, acting from past distortions and programming, but each time I take my time and allow life to flow at its own accord, I am so happy I managed to do it. The more we do it, we become free from projections, and the world will fail to look neither good nor bad, but it will just flow like the ocean’s waves: one day roughly, one day calm and joyful, another day it may look like they want to destroy and annihilate and other days they’re still as a  lake in a painting.

If you watch the ocean through the window or the TV screen, no storm will scare you, but you will enjoy its dynamism and continuous change and unpredictability. Similarly, if you grasp the nature of this existence, you’ll feel like watching it through a screen, and the tremendous show that it puts into scene will inspire and put you in awe, but it will no longer scare you or catch you off guard.

This is how we are gradually spiritually maturing, slowly growing, enhanced by our trust in life and by the Grace that flows from within us, not separate from the Life that flows equally from within, as everything that we experience outside of us.

How can then be someone to punish or reward us if everything is just us? But because we believe in that predicament, we create a life that will fit our idea of it. Change your perspective and life will feel easier, the power is always in our hands.

Experience it all

One of the tricks through which souls are maneuvered into returning to this experience is the idea of unfinished businesses, things and events that we refused to have, or we were too scared to dare facing.

Attachments are the other trick, and it can be any type of attachment: to an idea, to a lover, to a family member, friend, pet, belonging or all of them together. Another attachment is the religious/ spiritual one that can be used against us.

Ideally, every single day we should accept whatever is laid in front of us, without rejecting or denying it, just fully accepting whatever is given, as we accept a movie plot at the cinema, knowing that we can’t change the direction of the events in the projected movie. But through the experience we have, we have the potential to change things. Unfortunately, we mostly have the power to get more lost rather than grow out of it. Everything is made addictive, so we get hooked onto each experience and crave for more. That’s when the game gets a grip on the player instead of the situation being otherwise.

You came to have this experience, have it fully, embracing each particle of it, while trying not to get captured in its snare. “Be in the world but not of the world”.

Have everything but make sure you don’t crave anything, make sure you make peace with the idea of you potentially leaving this game tomorrow and be ready not to look back, either at family, lover or any other potential trap to bring you back.

Do not get stuck in the movie you just finished, but continue to let go of it, and every experience and be ready for the next one. The capacity to let go of everything, anything and anyone at any point is the key to successfully escaping the trap of being stuck in the game.

There’s no debt you owe to anyone and nobody owes you anything. If you know this, you’ll be safe. Our kindness is used against us when we are leaving, as a manipulation tactic. Guilt and shame and even the sense of duty will be used against us. Beings reminiscing religious figures of our choice will be employed to keep us in the loop. 

Promises of evolution, enlightenment and the achievement of perfection will try to trick one into coming back. But you should know that we are already all-knowingly, perfect and enlightened.

There are no stairs to climb, no place to reach, nothing to achieve. You’re just a being that has it all, yet wants to explore lower, and rather limited realms. It’s like a wealthy person having planes, helicopters and other vehicles yet enjoying the thrill of riding an old bike or skateboard and eventually becoming oblivious of his previous belongings. You can always get back to your vehicles and not remain stuck with the skateboard. The trick here is that, in the game we play, we can become forgetful of all those flying vehicles and allow ourselves to identify with the skateboard and get tricked into repeating the experience with the promise of a car, when, in reality, we are not even bound to time and space, hence even planes or helicopters are not really necessary.

If you are Everything that ever was, is and will be, which we all are, how can you owe anything to anyone, or how can anyone be indebted to you?

Even though the sun is hidden for days and weeks by clouds, that doesn’t mean it disappeared. As such, although you’re unaware of the Divine essence within you, that doesn’t mean that its existence is canceled by your unawareness of it.

Playing it safe in life is avoidance of the experience and, although many assume greatness or even sanctity in playing it safe, they are just deluding themselves. They’re deluded by their one-sided perspective. Whereas those who traveled deep within the hellish realms and yet traveled back through the obstacles and opposition, back to wholesomeness, those are the true unrecognized heroes.

So make sure you experience it all, whatever is yours to have, finish everything on your plate, or you might get tricked into return by your own unfulfilled desires and experiences and unfinished businesses and attachments.

Don’t make a big deal out of anything, forget, forgive and love unconditionally, be kind and selflessly giving, live courageously and know that you are already perfect, wise and enlightened. You just forgot! Now remember!

Being who you truly are

Not far away in the past, I used to believe that taking an extra step to show goodness and kindness to people was a very spiritual thing to do.

My perspective changed when I realized the amazing value of being myself fully. Being myself unapologetically will definitely trigger lots of people and make them classify me as selfish or even narcissistic, which at first glance may even seem to be the case. In fact, what changes is that I keep my kindness somewhat hidden, and stop being people’s doormat for the sake of being liked, loved or accepted.

I have the same heart filled with love and kindness, but I don’t look for ways to show that to people anymore, as I am not looking for recognition of those features, and as I am more and more self-sufficient..

I bless when I feel like în silence, so they’ll never know. I see people thriving when I am not explaining myself but letting them get to their right conclusions or even allowing them to go a bit astray, projecting what is not, without me trying to correct anyone, to each according to their vibration at that point in time.

I might explain myself when I feel humility and an honest desire to know, and I am asked in a non-entitled way, as we all deserve to have our questions asked if we know how to do it. But I am done trying to make others understand how great, honest, kind and trustworthy I am. I am fine with people believing whatever they choose about me

If people are throwing a tantrum and are being entitled, I do not have the desire to explain or excuse myself. But I make sure I question myself thoroughly and try to see where my actions and words are coming from, but that doesn’t mean that I will try to bring clarity to anyone against their will or capacity to understand, as I have to limit unnecessary waste of energy when there’s no possibility or will to fathom what’s going on.

We all get to clarity when we dare to question ourselves and our narratives. When we dare to ask ourselves “what if they are right? ” and flip the whole story from different perspectives, especially from the other person’s perspective.

Sometimes we are blinded by the mechanisms of coping that hide under layers of traumatic responses and programming, so I can definitely say that taking whatever whoever says and giving it a chance to be examined in a cool “what if?” way is the best one can do for their own evolution out of their own limitations.

I have pondered many times onto statements by people who accuse me of acting selfish, narcissistic or being unfair. And I realized that at that point they were right, and I wondered why I was doing that. And following the thread, I got to the point where I realized that the narcissist is a child who stopped evolving, stopped maturing and never left the house of their parents (metaphorically speaking). They’re entitled to things and people’s attention and energy, exactly as a child feels, and they’re failing to take full responsibility for anything they do or say, exactly like a child.

Even when they’re touched by love, all they care about is only the fulfillment of their own ideas of “happiness”, forgetting to take the other person into consideration, forgetting to give and serve selflessly, not knowing that they are just taking and taking and by not giving, they’re going to exhaust that person’s energy and good will and will eventually bring about rapture.

So, whenever someone says something to me, I might take time to assess their words, like I would ponder on specialist advice. This made me realize how much we can grow even just by being exposed to  people who might misjudge us.

The path to healing is honesty to self and others. But there’s a caveat to this: I used to be overly critical of myself (twisting and fully denying my own perspective), and I can easily see now that any of the extremes are wrong, as in any other situation. So, being fully dismissive of others is extreme and not beneficial, whereas being fully submissive is not the solution either.

The secret is always in the middle path, the path of balance. Balance is the Divine law inherent in everything and anyone. When we search for balance, we’re always on the right track to removing ourselves from the limitations of the existence of the human body.

So being ourselves is a huge step to seeing and acknowledging our shadow and the wounded child within, along with the Eternal Spirit of the Absolute, also is a chance to lose all the unnecessary people in our proximity, just by being aligned with ourselves instead of showing some “kinder” face in order to preserve relationships and things that were never ours to have. Therefore, after the shock of losing so many people, the newly discovered vibration of truth and self-sufficiency is going to start attracting similar or at least higher vibrating beings and situations, like ending high school clears the path to university.

Being fully ourselves when we are deeply wounded and traumatized may have as a direct consequence, the loss of the majority of people in our surroundings, and that can deepen the sense of crisis, but it’s not a mistake at all, because we can get a chance to see how our actions and words come from the desire to possess people and things and from very traumatic events from our early ages or even unresolved past life unsolved traumas and a misunderstanding of life and its purpose.

So a very narcissistic/mentally disturbed person, who doesn’t want to evolve, will be forced to reassess the whole thing/life one last time, by hitting rock bottom! Hitting the bottom is, when everyone leaves, everyone abandons them because of the atrocious behavior, or when life will force a deep traumatic event as a last chance, a last wake-up call. They’ll either realize that the only way is up, and see their flaws and genuine desire to heal, or they’re going to postpone the process for the next existence.

Now I dare say that not many are in that predicament, as I consider a severe mental health issue a karmic punishment or a spiritual jail. Yet undoubtedly, we all have traits coming from unresolved trauma that make us exhibit narcissistic, bipolar, borderline behavior or any other distorted abnormal features. So, while we are not full-fledged narcissists, there might be a chance to heal, as long as there is the acknowledgment of something being wrong with us.

Being ourselves is valuable in any situation, especially in learning to protect our own energy from people that only drain it. Being kind doesn’t mean you should allow spiritual vampires to suck you dry. Spiritual vampires are not necessarily obvious evil people, but most of the time they are family members, our spouses and friends that we may feed with our energy because of our lack of boundaries and because we try to please people. Also, being who we truly are Wil inspire others to accept and embrace themselves fully, which is, in the long term, planting the seeds for a better humanity.

When the silence talks

Throughout the years of my life, I have had experiences that could have easily been spread over several lifetimes, such concentrated lessons in a succession of events that seemed at points to be the very end of the experience in this body. That’s how strongly their pain has been felt.

An external observer would be unable to assess the true vastness and range of experiences, as many of the recent events that touched me were mostly internal battles, inner struggles and processes of transmutation. I am amazed by the fact that I am still here, back again from my inner infernal places, able to write about it all.

I have risen and fallen so many times. I have reached heights of understanding and realizations that I am still surprised I managed to grasp, and at points I was deprived (I forgot) of all that knowledge and wisdom, and even been pushed again to plunge so deep back into the very depths of my shadowy self, to the very abyss that we are all trying to pretend it exists not within our hidden chambers. And yet here I am, all scarred, dusty and almost lost, found again with a true smile on my face and unlimited gratitude to the Grace of the Eternal that manifested through people, events and the entire movements of the gears of Life and its incredible stories and twists.

Such an amazing game of hide and seek we’re playing with ourselves. Such a great example of the living paradox that is a Soul exploring the lower material plane, such a trap, so cunning this construct and so incredibly booby-trapped at every step. Everything yells for our attention and energy, everything is doing its utmost to steal some juice(energy) from us one way or another, to keep us blind, stumbling in mediocrity. It’s indeed a war, but not with any external forces, but with internal self-created demons who are fighting to preserve and defend the status quo, to try and ensure the survival of the old paradigms of control and their self-preservation.

I am living a true miracle, but only now do I recognize it as such. My old self would scoff and roll his eyes in disbelief and hopelessness, as probably the reaction of the majority of people who ever met me. My “miracle” may look like nothing or even like a scary thing for the unadvised. The simplicity of it all is almost impossible to grasp by the overcomplicated reasoning mechanism of the limited mind bound to old concepts. Even I have fallen back to old paradigms so many times, unable to hold onto the realization of the truth.

I am! I truly feel that these 2 words and 3 letters are all encompassing, like the primordial particle out of which everything sprouted out. “I am” is realized in silence.

The silence and its power are often times misunderstood and disregarded. Yet when you dare facing it, embracing it, it’ll talk to you and you will Know! When you embrace the “boredom” of staying in silence with yourself, the whole Universe will reveal its hidden song, the song of Life and Love, the song that reminds us that we are One, that we are enough, and it is in every single moment of Now that we are always wholesome and perfect.

When we embrace what we used to run away from, we will be able to get all the missing parts of the puzzle that we were searching for only in our comfort zone. Such a fallacy, to look for knowledge and wisdom only where we expect it to be, as silly as being on a bridge and losing a precious object in the river, yet deciding to look for it on the bridge to avoid wetting our clothes.

Truth and pieces of it are found in the places that we least expect. One of this “places” is the silence. What’s ignored, and disregarded, has hidden in it some juice that can’t be found elsewhere. Dare to turn each stone in your life upside down with courage and determination, and you will hear the silence that speaks, that sings and that guides.

My deepest gratitude to my Guru and the entire Higher realm that protects and guides us!

Become fearless

For a long period of time, I thought that fearlessness was a state of total lack of fear, as thoughtlessness is lack of thoughts, yet I came to realize that although it might eventually be possible to be so, there’s an intermediary state that has to be integrated in order for that potential to become true.

There are embedded fears programmed in our body for the sake of preserving life and bodily integrity, but other fears, more insidious, are just to keep us bound and limited, fully identified with the ephemeral existence of the human body. When aware, these can be easily spotted, identified and worked with.

I have noticed that I have moments when the body automatically reacts to a certain stimulus like a powerful noise in the middle of the night, and the heart starts racing and adrenaline rushes through the blood stream and even cold shivers happen. But I observed myself, from the soul and the mind’s perspective. I am not afraid at all, as I am ready to leave this realm at any point. But the body is programmed to respond to those stimuli, and therefore reacts.

I believe that in order to become fearless and be unmoved by anything, we are supposed to face all our fears  to realize their fallacy, as a scared little child dares to open the closet and look under the bed, and then through training like this the body is deprogrammed, hence true fearlessness dawns.

Similarly, to achieve thoughtlessness, I many times used to replace at the beginning the malignant or detrimental thoughts with thoughts which are rather on the positive side. It is somewhat rudimentary, yet it works, but it requires being continuously aware of the body and mind and observing the thought process.

The next level is when we realize that in reality no thoughts are or were ever ours, and we train ourselves to disregard them all together unless we are solicited in the material world, and we have to employ the thought process.

At this stage, thoughts are still coming, yet if aware, we give them no attention, no energy. Therefore, they have no power to create emotions which will change into more thoughts and push us to action. That’s when thoughts become malignant, yet if they’re disregarded, they’re just like wild animals behind a thick glass wall in a zoo. You see them, yet they have no power to distract or disturb you, unless you allow them to.

The most advanced state which I have experienced a few times is when deep meditative absorption is canceling the thought creation, and they seem inexistent, and I would dare to assume that it is because the high vibration of the person in deep meditation doesn’t allow the lower level where thoughts are born, to appear and rush into the mind.

So to conclude, becoming fearless is a long and tedious process that requires discipline and perseverance and facing all possible fears while trying to maintain a higher vibration level. And probably all I say is known, yet my realization of the body having an instant reaction, whereas the mind is not in fear I haven’t found anywhere. So, ideally, when we surprise our body experiencing fear, we should first check our hearts and minds and realize that we are eternal, immortal consciousness, so there’s nothing to be afraid of and the bodily reaction will subside immediately as the mind rules over the bodily functions when we are aware, and we know that we can exert this type of control even over the unconscious reflex-like programming which is deeply rooted within it.

True happiness

Our idea of happiness, whilst associated with a person, an object, a place or time, is doomed to flip into unhappiness.

As long as we project the idea of happiness and associate it with anything or anyone outside of us, it will inevitably create and bring about the opposite of what we want, hope, and expect.

Let’s say that we associate our happiness with our loving wife or husband, with whom we share a beautiful relationship. Eventually, that relationship will end one way or another, be it separation, death or any other possible reason; the certain thing is that it is going to end. So happiness being rooted in the external world (outside of us) is always prone to failure.

True happiness is when we finally reside fully within our body, untouched by any external event, people or anything, always bathing in the blissful light of our Being. That happiness is the only true happiness that is worth searching for. It’s the coming-home feeling, the ultimate love found in the union of the Divine Feminine and Masculine inside our very Being, Yin and Yang, and Yoga (Union).

While writing this, I am bathing in that inner happiness that relies on nothing outside of me, and, therefore, it is not bound to vanish ever, even in the moments of distress when I am called outside my being, or when I am distracted and separated from it; that inner peace is still there silently shining, like an inner sun dazzling from within, just for me to remember to return to after the outside incursion.

This true happiness that I am talking about is the very essence of our Being, the Love of the primordial Source hidden in the center of all those particles that separated from It, one day to return home, called by the Highest Vibration of Love and Bliss that is reunification with the Eternal.

The message I am trying to convey is rather abstract and hard, almost impossible to put into words, but without a doubt can be felt and accessed within your very Self. Therefore, dare to look inside yourself and find that most intimate, deepest connection and Love that is always closer to you and your heart than anything and that was patiently waiting for you to remember to listen to that inner silence that sings, to touch that inner peace that can change not only our bodies and proximity but the very world we’re experiencing and everything that we bring into our active consciousness.

Once we get even a glimpse of this true Happiness, we will not put all the eggs into one (external) basket; we won’t be easily distracted by the external calls of the Illusion to capture our attention and energy, but we will calmly step outside (into the world – matrix) with that unshakeable determination and playful attitude that being established in our own Essence can give us.

We were never unhappy, just disconnected from the Source, that Source that is within us and all over outside of us, and there’s nothing that is not That.

Radical self-acceptance

Radical self-acceptance is true self-love. It’s hard, and it doesn’t come easy, as we were told since early childhood that we are not enough, unless we do this or that, look or behave in a certain way.

I train myself in embodying this self-acceptance by allowing myself to say or do stupid things without trying to save face, without defending. I see myself wanting to write a message to someone and, either while writing it or right after, I see it being incomplete, insufficient, silly or outright stupid or just too revealing. Although I am tempted to delete it or edit it I am leaving it there as it is, most of the time, as I am not trying to create a good image of myself anymore. I am more and more allowing people to perceive me as they want, and I  sometimes enjoy observing myself and that inner struggle I have in which I force myself not to defend or correct people’s impressions of me.

Of course, I am still work in progress, so I am at points catching myself trying to repair it and I even do it sometimes. But I am heading there.

How can we truly accept someone else in our lives fully when we haven’t yet done that in our cases? How can we accept someone else’s flaws and differences unless we’ve at least started to do that about ourselves.

Radical self-acceptance is a mandatory step on the path to remembering and embracing who we truly are. And self acceptance is not about all the bright features and characteristics, but wholesomely and fully incorporating every single aspect especially the undesirable ones courageously.

I am many times writing something to a girl that I fancy, and after I sent the message I go back and read it again and I see all the things I can improve, I should delete or edit… Most of the time I leave it as it is, offering an off-ramp, a possibility to see this part of mine which can help them run away. Why walking on eggshells? I am what I am, and I will definitely continue to do or say things that are less than perfect. Why would I try to create a fake image about myself when I like people to see me as I am?, so in case they like me, they will like the real me, and not some fancy image that I created, and that I assume would be better than the real me.

This is where we are wrong and hence we keep unnecessary people in our proximity through the fake image we project, enforce, and we keep our true soul-family and potential suitable partners apart because of our fear of not being “perfect” or enough by failure to fully embracing our own expression.

I am enough! For myself at least, therefore in my life, and with my apparent flawed version that I dare to expose to the outside world now a miracle happens: People are reacting different to me, people who used to like me (the mask) are not anymore interested and people who are more genuine and are as unapologetically themselves as I am learning to be are attracted to me. It’s beautiful. Finally, not trying to please anyone, nor playing roles, not trying to save face or force a certain perception onto people, but radical self-acceptance.

If you haven’t tried it, I recommend you to give it a shot. Yes, you’ll lose some unnecessary acquaintances in the process, but you can’t lose what’s yours, so be happy, as a more real life is being shaped and you’re slowly removing unnecessary debris from the old idea of how you ought to be and you start discovering who you truly are.

Once you start loving yourself for who you are, others will be more open to accepting and loving you for that. Isn’t that amazing?

In order to become Something, unbecome everything

We tend to approach our growth and evolution in the same distorted way as an ambitious approach to achieve material wealth and success in the world. It is the very greed-fueled approach that seems to be so “normal”. Unfortunately you can’t use tools used in carpentry in a marble quarry. Therefore an old approach to understanding the depths of the Universe, mysteries and secrets beyond the apparent with our obsolete tools are going to be promoting an imaginary type of evolution which is only happening in our fantasy and ego.

It’s hard to convey in words what I realized within, but let the transmission of my realization reach out to all of you reading and may at some point reach the same realization if you haven’t done so already.

In order to realize things out of the box, we have to be out of the box. Exiting our “righteous” routines and ways to look at the experience are helping us to step out and have a broader understanding of the world and everything. The sailors on a sailboat can blow air into the sail as powerful as they can but the boat will stand unmoved regardless, as in order to exert the influence on that sail one has to be outside of the boat.

The path to “the out of the box” realm is by changing the way we see things, people and events. Whilst we still see those in very dual way, like: those are my friends and these are the enemies, you will still be blowing in your sail while standing on the boat.

Once we start stoicly accepting everything in our lives as ours to have and we stop perceiving people in a antagonistic way, realizing that everyone is a catalyst in our potential unfolding, life will start to look different, and even events and people will stop being so triggering for us.

It took me a lot of time to get here and I am still wondering if I can be able to mantain this level of perception tomorrow, as the Matrix tries to bring us back to its thralls but the heck with tomorrow, as it doesn’t exist.. I am here now and I can read this article tomorrow (if tomorrow comes), and  I will remember today’s realization.

To come back to the title, when we stop wanting to become anything, and we start detangling from the bondage of all the ideas we have about ourselves, and everything else, practically unbecoming everything, the reality rushes in, and pompous words like “we are all One” really start to be perceived at their proper depth, as perceiving a level of reality that renders all previous ideas and concepts obsolete.

Everything that used to excite my imagination and look for in the future just stopped being appealing. I can and will still have some of those, but there’s no “need” or longing for any of those, a real level of detachment dawned onto me. And at first is so painful like you wake up and see all the fake, glitter and sparkling stuff falling off everything that we used to appreciate and look forward to getting,  now showing its ugly, rusted and even unnecessary side.

If you are ready to abandon the pursuit of all those little things that used to give a meaning to life, then this is how it goes, but if not yet, no worries. I believe that this realization comes only after diving deep in the material plane (illusion) with awareness, when you realize that you are Sisyphus, and trying to push that boulder uphill will never work and you decide to just accept that hilltop without the boulder there. The boulder in this case is all that baggage of ideas and concepts that used to be the background ruler of everything happening in our lives.

When we stop wanting to be recognized as anything, and we allow people to misunderstand and wrongly assume that we are like this or like that, then we’ve walked a long way and our disillusionment is very close. There’s nothing to defend, or prove. Whoever is to get our true essence they will, whoever is not to grasp who and what are we about, they will not, regardless of us trying to convince  or prove them otherwise.

When you unbecome all the ideas you had about yourself, then you become “I am”, and that is impossible to explain in words, you don’t need any quality attached to that “I am” as you are Everything and Nothing. That takes you out of the trap of souls: that makes you be in the world, yet not of the world; no longer wanting to save anyone or anything as you’ll start seeing the perfection of the world as it is, in its apparent imperfection.

We are kept distracted

I just had a moment while on the plane and contemplated how the Matrix/ illusion tries to keep us busy: experiencing and loooking for pleasure and getting entangled in its traps, or keeping us paying attention to the pain and trying to escape it. One way or another, we’re kept busy in a lower level of vibration, which is not easy to break free from.

I had a visual representation of the illusion as being like a clown, trying to maintain one’s attention focused on its mumbo-jumbos, and monkey business, through making one laugh or sad or always in the state of paying attention and investing that energy in the distraction as to always be slaves of our senses and the fictitious story they’re telling us.

Of course, to some extent, we have to find the balance of either going to the extreme of abandoning life as it is since we came to have this experience, neither becoming captured by the theatrics nor taking the dream for fully fledged reality.

The illusion has a powerful grip on the souls because of their voluntary (or maybe not so voluntary) confinement into the physical body, which compared to the limitlessness of the soul is reduced and compressed to something similar to the plane we live in, the world as we know, would compress itself into a tiny particle. Although I feel that on a Reality level, the quantum level, these things are possible, and they’re not limiting or restricting either the potency or the conscious aspect of the “big” element squeezed into a very minute one.

But the world we’re in has a specific programming that forces the particles to behave in a certain way and crystallize in the form of their programming. In reality, whatever we experience is very far from the true Reality, and I get more and more the concept of the universe we experience as being a mental construct and not at all physical as stated in hermetic writings and other scriptures.

We, being in the bodies, are bound to a certain degree to the program running in the background, although our full limitless potential is latent within, waiting for the veil of ignorance to be lifted by the right judgment or the lack of it (disregarding the thinking mechanism – which is one of the guardians of the mental projection) and for us to reinstate ourselves as possible co-creators. In other words, we’re living in someone else’s fantasy world and because we believe in the subtantiality of the world, we empower it with our conscious potency. So the world is truly a collective dream constructed by someone outside of it for fun, and I don’t mean the Ultimate Existence, although everything and everyone is part of That. But I mean that souls have evolved into realizing their true power and potential and enjoy creating different worlds and existences for their entertainment and further expansion.

Just imagine that you allow your mind to fantasize freely, and you see yourself as a king or some other type of powerful being, and you populate that fantasy of yours with beings of your own imagination; there’s no limit to what you can project and create. Your ideas become strokes of a paintbrush on a blank canvas.

This is exactly what we’re facing; we’re just characters in someone’s dream following our designated paths until the dissolution of the physical form, like NPCs (nonplayer characters) in a game that fulfill certain roles yet unaware of their ephemeral existence of being part of the movie.

When we awake we slowly slowly get back to being a more conscious being which starts growing out of the programming and realizes the power of creation that he /she had at their disposal at any point in time. From that moment on, life starts to be more coherent although it doesn’t mean that the ebbing and flowing that are inherent in this creation are going to stop. Not at all, but by employing awareness we have the chance to avoid the tsunami of the emotions which were eternally dragging us back to the box/ jail , now we can make a conscious decision and raise ourselves into a state where we can still feel the existence, yet we can decide how deep we allow ourselves to be touched by it.

Another observation when we pull ourselves out of the movie is that we can perceive people who are still drowning in it, unaware of the programming, like we can see children and their mischievous attitudes, in the right way, even though they may have an idea of being smart and cunning and that nobody figures them out.

When observing a person who is still fully lost in the emotional fantasy, we can easily perceive aspects of their character or points of distortion, much more if we have observed those aspects in ourselves and either transmuted and transformed them or keep them in check.

So there’s no superpower, as we all are super-powerful (omnipotent) in our own creations, but we are limited because we accept someone else’s fantasy as our physical world and we empower and enforce it with our ignorance, and those very laws and dictates that keep us bound to it.

I want to re-emphasise that abandoning the world is just another trap, as it is being fully absorbed ignorantly into it. The secret is always in the ballance between these two, like some wise people in the past used to say: immerse yourself fully into the illusion but with the awareness of its fallacy, and aware of your immense power of altering and changing certain programming.

Recognizing true love

When it hits you, you will know it. Everything else will seem like jokes. Every other previous relationship will look like a parody or a kindergarten work.

Even if it’s not immediate recognition, you will feel something different. There’s something that you can’t pinpoint, something that finally clicks. And it’s not (only) on a physical basis, although that is most likely there too.

Things that others or even you considered about yourself as being flaws throughout your life, are appealing for that “one and only”. But I have to warn you that a lot of trial and error might be needed until that union is unlocked. Therefore dare to immerse yourself in love and life with courage and perseverance. Love and be loved; try to always bring a higher awareness, virtues, purity, and wisdom to the new relationship, and it may be the perfect one that you’ve been craving. If it is not that, be happy that you passed through a new opportunity to become better every single time, so that will ensure that you are better prepared for the very best whenever time is right.

Exercise truth and virtue and Grace will be with you, decide to shift the gears, and forget about the old, stałe and obsolete. Don’t be upset in case of failure. Know for sure that you are training for the real deal. Even scarred and hurt, you can rise again and allow yourself to dedicate  again, with force and determination.

I promise you, when you have done all your homework and maybe when you have lost all hope, but you’re still having your heart open only you don’t believe much anymore in the possibility of meeting “the one and only”, then he/she appears…

They’re both beaten by lives they’ve experienced and they are scarred like two pitbulls that survived lots of fights. They’re at first checking each other incredulously; feeling something, but  no longer jumping head first. They feel the attraction, but then again: “it happened so many times and it wasn’t that, right”? So they take everything with a cautious excitement, neither believing nor dismissing, but observing without hope nor fear, but with their open hearts taking again the leap of faith.

Be fully yourself this time, be fully truthful, show yourself in your full blaze of your Being. Whoever is not your person will run away for sure. Don’t you walk on eggshells ever again! Don’t wear masks no more! Just be yourself, but respect and accept other’s differences while honoring yourself and your self-expression fully too. But if you know that you want only That, the true One and Only, the pure Chintamani gem of your soul, why would you waste your time with anything less than that?

When that person appears, you feel like you can finally relax, you are accepted and seen as and for what you are, and you equally do it yourself. No matter if close or far, the hearts are connected, you can feel it. There’s connection, there’s love, there’s recognition. And yes, even if one of them is still not yet opened up fully, you can tell that the feelings are equally shared, a sense of deep longing takes place even after short breaks in the communication due to different chores and programs. A feeling of coming home is recognized while in the presence of the other.

It might not be easy since life has a funny sense of humor, and different aspects might give an idea of things being complicated, yes. But there’s true love that makes one endure whatever fire of purification and renewal is there. The present moment is acknowledged and treasured; a deep and subtle spiritual teaching is taking place just through sheer interaction, and the teaching is mutual and happens naturally, unforced. They are both learning one from the other, just like two communicating vessels equalizing each other in knowledge and vibration. It’s like merging. It’s beautiful, might be rough, but if hearts are open, everything is dealt with with ease, and the growth of their perception is exponentially and steadily expanding.

Love is the background and base of everything, and everything becomes easier; everything that seemed like a pain in the arse is now just another buzzing mosquito that fails to scare anyone.

Love is healing and empowering; it is undoubtedly the most powerful force in Existence; it’s the force motrice of Everything.

May all readers be given the chance to experience the ultimate love!

Enough

Has anyone wondered how does it feel to reach a wider perspective while in the human body? Some may assume it should look glorious, majestic and flamboyant. That’s why they miss it. Everyone expects shine and sparkle and glory, yet it feels like vain. It feels like  disappointment from the human perspective.

That’s why we can’t really see it. The diamond is in the dirt, light comes from the primordial darkness, which is neither this nor that. It is in the monotonous and boring layers of life that we’ll find that peace and fulfillment we’re searching for. By accepting the disappointment, and not seeing it anymore as such we will find Love. By seeing it in people and actions where everyone else sees something else, we’ll see ourselves as Love without a doubt and it will feel enough.

Oh, it feels so lonely and painful at first, but the background is always made of peace and quiet. I am no longer afraid of death and neither afraid of life. I am no longer striving for happiness since I have found it by embracing its opposite. If I no longer want anything, how would I taste disappointment?

My life all of the sudden makes sense in its apparent lack of it. I am no longer running and neither looking for anything. Even a curse might be turned into a blessing when you are accepting life just as it comes, with least interference yet doing everything that is to be done. Everything is part of the great cosmic play that emerged from within us.

I won’t be afraid no more, even if when I wake up tomorrow, the poison ivy of the world would have already brought me back, even though it happens every day. We are daily brought back to the very matrix, and to the previous understanding that kept us bound. Bound to a certain outcome and hopes for “something that is good”, back to the thralls of illusion. 

In me now is the  blooming truth that grows and that expands eternally, once revealed, never to be covered. And each time I will get back to the illusion, its power weakens, a scary tsunami in a painting  on the wall that fails to hurt anyone but the fearful, hence prepare your trust to life and in yourself, let’s all go back to knowing who and what we are.

I am diving in pain and suffering and even vice, yet I am not stained by any, I see it all for what it is. No power should prevail over the one who is aware, but his only power of the Self. The wholesomeness that we project and expect as a reward for the struggle, it doesn’t feel like what we would expect to feel. Yet it is a reward in itself. It’s a brand new understanding and perception, that enriches us and pushes us forth.

We’re all projecting positivity onto it and therefore we are missing it. But once we’ve seen it, we will know. Things that used to be so heavy, are just mild jokes that faded throughout clouds of time and space.

I have lost everything so many times: people, things and even timeliness, yet I am past that, although it may look like I am not. A cuckoo bird for everyone else, or maybe a Phoenix bird born again out of its remaining ashes for myself. I look the same, yet I am not, and I am not scared of what is not, since I am all, and all is One. I am indeed my God, the one that created everything for my experience and sport, and you’re your own God and yet we’re all One. Do you see how what seems antagonistic and opposing in fact is One and nothing else exists but That?

Through pain and loss and sorrow I have discovered joy, but joy that does not look like joy but rather emptiness, an emptiness that’s full of everything and nothing, a wholesomeness that you will feel once you had your share of everything, and you will understand that running for something, chasing a selfish goal, is taking you  far away from Self. So Self is found where you least expect it, within and in all the other places also, under the most boring stone of disappointment, under the unfulfilled desire when you realize its vanity.

Enough with running, enough with chasing, I have nothing to achieve or to repair since everything is right and it is “good”, even the worst of the worst is nothing but That, yourself and nothing else but That encapsulating all, a movie that now looks old in black and white, that was created for your entertainment and experience and at points you took it for  real. Let us wake up and  head towards Reality .

The battle for time

In this experience, we came to have there’s a continuous battle for our time, an occult battle that exhausts our most precious asset while in this dimension: TIME.

All the movie creators and providers, TV, and social media are stealing our time. Also our phones have becomed their biggest tool of time-stealing. Time which we can use to work with our inner child, to face and incorporate our shadow self, to face fears, work with our distortions, spot the programming, and undo it for us to free ourselves from everything that we are not.

Spending time with our dear ones and meeting interesting and wise people is not a waste of time since there’s a continuous exchange of energy and emotions happening on a subtle level which soothes our beings, but everything should be done and experienced in moderation and a non-compulsive way, and awareness should be always employed.

We are living in a constant race in which everything is trying to drain us out of this unknown treasure that we are so easily wasting.

How can we reverse this unfortunate waste? you might ask. One of the secrets is: to be aware, no matter what are we engaged in doing, or saying, whatever we might be listening to. Like that, everything is observed, and the simple fact that we are fully conscious of what’s going on changes the whole process.

Let’s say we’re out drinking and going to the disco, if our Higher awareness is not there, we will only waste time and expose ourselves to subtle possession of entities that are happily taking temporary advantage of the ignorants drinking and dancing and whatnot. But when the awareness is involved, the whole thing happening is under “adult supervision” and we observe ourselves craving for alcohol, wanting to attract attention, we realize the mechanisms behind all those actions and their potential value or lack of it altogether.

Awareness is the key, like a loving parental figure watching the little child wobbling around and pointing out the hidden aspects and sharing important knowledge about  the apparent situation. Awareness is observing how alcohol intake is diminishing the connection between the observer and itself, how everything if left adrift tends to go to unconscious desires coming to the surface and how it opens up our aura for entities to possess us and push us even more down the slippery slope of forgetfulness and vice.

At points the awareness vanishes, or its capacity to steer us back to ourselves is big-time diminished. That’s the point where unwanted entry happens and when we might even lose our limited awareness of what we do and experience. That one of the instances through which time loss happens and many times we’re totally unaware of that happening.

Another instance when we are wasting time unnecessarily is when we fall to compulsory actions, we binge-eat, binge-watch something on the phone or TV, binge-drink, use substances for the sake of “having fun”. There’s nothing wrong with having fun in life, but some of the activities that we consider in the category of “having fun” are very detrimental especially if they become a habit, therefore a big time-stealer is the desire. Any desire is an impulse to have or do something which is supposed to entertain us but if properly observed it may reveal its dark side.

The desire appears out of the lack of our inner peace and acceptance of life as it is, a feeling of lack and insufficiency. So finding our inner peace and self-reliance is mandatory to diminish the power that desires exert in our existence.

Even reading a book is a waste of time, especially if the information in that book fails to bring to the awareness important and valuable information that will make us thrive further. As such watching a video online can add value to our existence or steal our precious life through consuming the limited treasure of time. We should question our actions and impulses by asking ourselves if going somewhere or doing something is going to be a waste of time (from the higher perspective) or it’s going to add precious information, experience and wisdom. But whatever is done through being conscious and aware it undoubtedly brings value and wisdom to the experience.

A healthy dose of pragmatism should be taken along with all our activities and the question that ought to be asked i: how is this going to enrich my life experience or what can I observe and learn from it? At points, we just want to relax and have fun, lose ourselves for a while in some “unhealthy” or not-so-beneficial actions. Do it! We came to experience a big range of experiences but do it with awareness, be conscious while doing it and it will only add to your knowledge, and apply balance to everything and you can’t go wrong.

Everything that is experienced once or twice adds value and expertise. Therefore we shouldn’t run away from life either, but whatever becomes a habit, especially if it’s the use of substances, addictions to alcohol, food, and sex among other things, are detrimental and fulfilling the role of time-stealers.

Time is the greatest treasure in this ephemeral existence. The rulers of the world are well aware of it, therefore they are all into capturing as much as they can from the masses, and they’re developing continuously their capacity to capture our time and implicitly our lives. Ideally, we should start questioning how our time is used, and what’s the benefit of doing something from a higher/spiritual perspective. Again: if it’s a first time, even if detrimental, it adds to the wisdom and the experience if properly assessed. But whatever becomes a compulsion, whatever is hard to exit from, it’s a trap.

Also another secret to staying fully conscious and experiencing life with awareness is avoiding projections in the future or roaming in the past through the thoughts, in other words staying in “Now”.

Past and future are also stealing the present moment, so it is depriving ourselves of the only valuable experience that happens NOW.

Now let’s go out there and employ our full consciousness, be aware regardless of what we are engaged in, and instead of losing time, whatever we might be doing, we will gain wisdom through continuous observation and by balancing our life through that awareness.