Life in its essence is extremely simple and its guidelines easy to follow for an aware being. The problem is that nowadays we are mostly navigating adrift, without a clue in this ocean called life. Everything that happens to us has the potential to destroy us (to drag us deeper into the illusion) or to uplift us, meaning to give us the tools for our conscious awakening, towards realizing who we are and what’s the purpose for incarnating in this particular realm in this particular day and age, but more so: the pain that we are supposed to notice, accept and work with in order for it to become obsolete.
Everything that happens to us is definitely something that we have to experience, especially since it happened already. The first thing we can do to properly address the matter is to accept it no matter how hard it is to do so.
Acceptance itself it’s such a powerful tool that reduces a lot the negative impact of some unfortunate happenings.
When we accept something that happens, we exit already the low vibrational vortex of victimization, whining, guilt, shame and other unnecessary emotions and feelings. If we truly accept something there’s no reason anymore to roam in what happened, we automatically step into the present moment and instead of asking ourselves how would it have been if we would have act or said something differently, – which is useless because that moment is gone, and there’s absolutely no reason to waste your time and energy accusing self or other/-s, trying to project potential other approaches – we should rather accept what happened. So once you have accepted, the “problem” is already half solved.
Working with own faults, distortions and programs is way easier when those flaws are brought to the surface by a certain life event or triggered by a person in your life. I remember that someone asked me: “Well but how do I work my crap out?”
The first step is noticing the existence of the “crap”, secondly you accept the fact that it is there inside yourself and that it is affecting your life, your decisions and the outcome of your actions. The worst mistake that we’ve all been through throughout our lives is to blame external actors (aggressors) and situations. Take full responsibility, there’s no other way. The third part is working with it. Accepting the responsibility for that character flaw (like victimization, narcissism, controlling nature, aggression, lying…) and be ready to watch with awareness that particular flaw (for the moment) and decide to consciously stop its influence in your life. One way of working with it would be to notice when was the first time that we remember a similar pain to the one that we’re experiencing in the present circumstance even if the events might look different and unrelated. Then we should start asking, like kids, “Why do I have this pain? Because I feel hurt. Why do I feel hurt? Because I did that. Why have I done that?”… and so on until you manage to get to the root of the problem. Probably it’s useless to repeat that this and it will not work unless a full openness and truthfulness to self is employed. Most likely the root cause of the problem is some misinterpretation of a childhood occurrence, an over-exaggerated perspective over that early experience. Or it can be even some very serious abuse, violation, violence or even small – totally silly for our mind now- events where we felt ashamed, guilty, abused, raped, betrayed, alone, deserted, sinful and so on… One way of transcending it is to consciously go in to that same situation and look at the actual event happening in front of you, you being the victim (as a child – in that moment) and you being an adult, now, a spectator to the whole drama. Feel that pain fully in your body, accept it if still there, because it will not go unless you are experiencing it fully, getting it exhausted. See it in a very detached way, forgive yourself and whoever was the trigger or aggressor, know that we are supposed to take full responsibility for everything that happens in our lives, and know that nobody is truly a victim. Know that you are lighter now, having a better chance to evolve out of your misery because of that event taking place. Hug that broken, hurt child that is suffering in the replayed memory, cry together if necessary, but then explain the child that everything that we are experiencing is necessary for our further growth and beyond everything that we’ve learned, everything is definitely correct and always in alignment with the Divine construct laws to which our lives abide as everything else in the Existence.
So keep always in mind the dual potential of whatever happens in your life and remember that it’s only us and our reactions to it that truly determines the outcome of that (otherwise neutral life circumstance). We are the only ones self-sabotaging our own lives by choosing always the same path, the old path that we know, the automatic response of the autopilot, the victimized perspective. Letting go with ease is crucial, it’s the choice that defines who we are at the moment. Surrender and let go of everything, embrace challenges, be always ready for change, embrace things that you used to run from, like facing problems, pains, hard work and struggle or new experiences that you would have passed in the past otherwise. In order for you to pick different fruits from your garden you have to definitely plant different trees. Old trees will invariably give the fruits that you already know. Without a new approach, everything will continue as previously, so there’s no one to blame for your life circumstances but yourself, your choices and past deeds. But “blaming” (as a choice of wording) can be misleading, so you shouldn’t even blame yourself. Don’t blame anyone, but instead take responsibility for everything and remember that the secret is in your actions or the lack of them, in what you say or what you don’t say. Study your own being and the knowledge that is scattered in millions of books and individuals will be unfolding from within yourself with ease. It was always there hidden under tons of unnecessary junk that you started sorting out. You were always That which is the essence of everything surrounding us. Good luck with sorting that huge pile out, I got some crap to work with myself 😁.